Everything feels strange and surreal. Moving forward on past ideas, they begin to transform into what they are rather than what I thought they might be. Letting go, embracing change, accepting life again.
I have had a long period of disability struggling with chronic illness. I have talked about it publicly over the years, however, it has not been a main focus of communication other than necessity, it’s a fundamental part of who I am, but I focus on my creativity more I would say and always have.
It became necessary to stop doing and prioritize my health which was a major tipping point. As soon as I am able at all, I am back to working in photography and music, I sometimes thought to let it all go forever, but that is not what happened.
This pandemic is a chronic illness of the collective. It has many different impacts and people respond to it very differently. I had a very strong period of denial when I first became seriously ill, that is an understandable reaction. It’s unimaginable that one could lose the ability to walk, for example. I was told I would, I didn’t believe it, and it happened.
Thankfully I have recovered from that but it took years. I had to change my entire life, my entire sense of self. I feel this for the collective. It’s still too early in the illness phase for certain things, still a lot of denial on many levels. We want to avoid dealing with the reality, we cling to fantasy, we hope, we are tired, we are exhausted.
Part of why I don’t write about it is that it is difficult to express the totality of what I mean, what I have seen. True Travelers is my series on Holga that documents this journey. Reminds me of the time that has past and what was going on. The intersection of mind body and soul as all are affected and all have affect on the present moment.
Take Me Home is my homage to Santa Fe and my first new Mixedmedia since moving here. The image of the aspens was created in the fall of 2020.
Mixedmedia is a bizarre and disturbing experience. I think most photographers must be control freaks. It’s highly technical and all about preparation and execution. Mixedmedia is totally out of control.
It’s a very time consuming process. Layers and layers, going on instinct, listening to the piece, going with the flow. But it’s utterly fascinating both in the creation and the finished piece. It makes you want to look and keep looking, so, I keep experimenting with it. It helps to express the deeper, subtle narratives that the image contains. And incorporates additional cues of time and place.
On display at Foto Forum Santa Fe through February, opening reception Friday, Feb. 4th.
Take Me Home
Holga Mixedmedia Encaustic on Canvas, 12×12″
Film development Visions Photo Lab