Freed From Rage and Sorrow

 Freed From Rage and Sorrow

Reflections of Emptiness in the American Dream

I’ve traveled the back roads and captured the moments that speak. The landscapes have their own story. Buried in the lines and cracks, trickling down the waterways and through the skies. The story of time and the nature of being.

The ancestors spoke when I was young. They told me what was here, what was real and what was needed. They showed me the future, and whispered of the past. This land remembers. It has a voice. And it wants to be heard.

“Truth is in the land,” the voice said. Stories are written and spoken, but I needed to know. Surrendering to intuition and forsaking the known, I observed in the world around me the path I was destined to take. Relating patterns, unfolding perceptions, traveling this naked reality in pursuit of understanding. 

Thirty years ago, I had a vision. I told no one. It wasn’t the first time, but it was the only time of such acute intensity and specificity. It told me of the future and now that future has happened. “When will I be free?” I had called out silently to the mountain from the deepest sorrow and desperation within my heart, “when will everything be free?” Suddenly, unexpectedly, the answer came, like a shock wave nearly knocking me to the ground.

My sight went dark and a loud voice began speaking directly into my mind. Disoriented and feeling like I was going to pass out, with great effort, I pulled myself upright and refocused my sight as I did not want the crowd of people milling around to notice. “Many people will die,” the voice said. I walked away from the center of the monument as quickly as possible. “These people will die.” I made it to to the other side of a booth near the parking lot and looked around. Seeing no one, I crouched down, closed my eyes and listened. 

I’ve had trouble with memory. There were parts of my mind I couldn’t access and years of my life I could not recall. “Someday you will photograph your experience,” the voice said. These photographs are field notes, mnemonic devices, a map of the knowledge I was searching for and a method of restoring my mind. Everything is connected. And everything had to be tested. In the end, I had to let go of my illusions and accept the truth.

“Your vision is clear,” the elder said, “like this bowl of water.” This work is a document of my past and the threshold to my future. It is evidence. Something to leave behind. I have to be honest though I would rather not. “I think you are born to it,” my godmother said as we looked out the window and went into our meditation. Everything is Vipassana. 

Freed From Rage and Sorrow is a multi media expression of my life long journey to see what is real. It is a full length musical album of songs I’ve written over the past 25 years. It is a portfolio of photographs made with 35mm black and white film over the same period of time which is presented as a book and art installation of platinum palladium prints, large scale mixed media and video projection.